In-depth Interview with Zon Mimi Thwin

Milin Huang
2/12/2015

Zon has gracefully allowed us to include part of her interview transcript below:

Milinzy:

Why are you here in America?

Zon:

Because I was thrown into this situation and I chose to continue. Sometimes things are not my choice. I was given these situations to deal with. They were opportunities and challenges.

Milinzy:

How do you handle work and study?

Zon:

When I first started my college semester in summer, I took Monday to Thursday morning classes and worked in evening. I didn’t do well at all as my sleep was disrupted. So I switched my work schedule in the summer B [semester], and gave myself one whole day off every week for studying and rest. This fall semester, I separated out school days and work days with one day off. I pay full attention in class, prepare the topic ahead, and try to maintain good sleep. This does not always apply to my last class of the day at night time. When I am tired, I cannot pay full attention. Mainly the deadlines and stress from it help me get things done as I cannot care about perfection at such time. 

Milinzy:
To be able to work less hours to give time for studying, we need to cut expenses. How do you save money?

Zon:

Electricity and food is the most basic expenses. So we save money mainly through these. We don’t do laundry with few clothes to cut frequent laundry trips. We hang them dry instead of using dryer. We do not use AC even on hot days. So we also do not need to [take a] warm shower on those days too. We cook at home and rarely eat outside.

Milinzy:

Do you miss your family and friends?

Zon:

I have [moved on from] those times. I am pretty much occupied to live my life now. I do not currently have many friends because I cannot take the likely coming up stress yet, as I know about my highly sensitive personality. I could not yet spend enough money to socialize, hang out with friends. Neither my family nor my friends could do nothing about my current situation. Emotional support? Meh! Friends could not understand me because this is totally different here. My parents can relieve me sometimes but not in every occasion. My sister has been my only friend and a guidance. I think the ugly truth changed me from indulged, irresponsible, immature person to a more reliable companion for my sister. 

Milinzy: 

You mentioned that you were depressed for some time after arriving.  How did you deal with depression?

Zon:

I searched online for the surest, least painful, and easiest way to [commit] suicide. I know plastic bag suffocation is the easiest [method] and cause of death that is the most so that there will be least trouble for the remaining family members. But I wanted to make sure about the success rate. Nine times out of ten is a failure. The consequence is living the rest of one’s life with [a] damaged brain. The surest way is to shoot [yourself] into the head. I [have tried putting] a pillow on my face and tried suffocating. That is when I realized human beings have a natural instinct and will to survive. I was coward enough to try [with a] gun. I decided, if I do not even mind giving up my life, I will sacrifice myself to give meaning to the people around me. That is how I continued my life and I got a job. No more severe depression. Nothing really could shake me more than when I felt useless and meaningless. All that I have now is some tiredness.

Milinzy:

What differences are there between America and Burma?

Zon:

• America has good facility at school.
• Relaxed posture while in class.
• A lot of land and not dense, mostly there are houses in contrast to compact tight space building in Burma.
• People in Burma do not smile to strangers.
• Racial issue – There are rarely any situations of racism in Burma, although it is made up of 7 major races and more than 300 minor races. People even have great interest and friendliness to those of other ethnicities.
• In my homeland, the family does everything for me. Here, I have to get things done on my own.